Impatience

Remember the road rage that was so prevalent several years ago? People were getting hurt, some seriously. Drivers were nervous about any little irritation shown by other drivers. Road rage still exists. But recently I heard about a new rage. It’s call “sidewalk rage.”

Apparently some young people are getting upset by “old people” who are walking too slowly on the sidewalks. Sometimes older folks cause traffic slow down on sidewalks by socializing with their friends. The impatient young folks suggest creating special “Old People Sidewalks”. Some of them even plan to knock the old people on the back of their heads and push them aside.

When I first heard this report, it took me a while to realize that it is real, and then it dawned on me that impatience has become viral. We live in a world where everything becomes instantly available, or at least people expect them to be instantly available. The electronic age has created generations of young people impatient for instant results and instant gratification. That they even cannot appreciate the beauty of slowing down to socialize with friends and neighbors, like the old folks do, is a sad testimony of impatience overtaking the enjoyment of living in the moment.

My friends and I have a Sunday hiking group when we explore different parts of the island. Some hikes are easy and some very challenging, but always enjoyable. Not only do we get a good work out, we also take our time exploring the surroundings, finding exquisite flora and fauna, birds and bees (and stung by them). Through sliding on muddy slopes, stumbling among rocky hills, we learn to appreciate what we have, sometimes right in our “backyard.”. We don’t rush around to get the hikes finished as soon as possible, rather, we slow down.

Sometimes I hear yoga students grumbling on the slow progress they are making in reaching certain level of accomplishment. I like to point out that it is the “journey”, not the destination, that we yogis and yoginis look for. In fact, there is no “destination” in yoga practice. It is a life long journey, sometimes easy, sometimes hard, but always a present-moment experience. Patient dedication to our practice is accomplishment in itself.

I found this wonderful quote by James Keller, “Three hundred years ago a prisoner condemned to the Tower of London carved on the wall of the cell this sentiment to keep up his spirits during his long imprisonment: ‘It is not adversity that kills, but the impatience with which we bear adversity.’”

Let the old folks linger on the sidewalks.

Namaste,
Clarie

Lifes' Unexpected

Dear Yogis & Yoginis,

On the way back from a party one evening, a day after New Year's, I tripped on the wet, rain drenched, brick steps leading from the garage to our back yard (no, I had not been drinking!) Ordinarily, it's no big deal, I would just stumble a little and continue on. But that evening, I was carrying a large ceramic salad bowl, my favorite blue and white. As I stumbled, it slipped out of my hands. I stepped up, and reached down to catch the bowl. It hit the step, shattered into pieces in a split second. I stood up, dumbfounded, and upset that my favorite bowl was no more. Only a moment later, when I left the scene of the accident to open the door, that I saw blood all over the floor. One of the broken pieces had popped up and slashed my wrist, and my right foot was caught on the step and was cut as well.
After several stitches, and bandages were applied to my wrist and toe at the hospital, it was clear that I would not be able to apply any weight on my right hand and right foot for a while.
Suddenly, life had taken an unpleasant turn. Yoga and weight training had to stop; I had some difficulty walking and hiking; both of those were temporary inconveniences. Worst of all, I had a gash on my wrist that looked like a suicide attempt!
How often have we run into an unexpected happening, without being prepared for it. We have taken so much of our lives for granted. I was making good progress with yoga practice and weight training and was assuming that it would continue. Then suddenly everything had to stop. I could almost feel my newly gained muscles shriveling, my flexibility tightening, and my confidence dropping. Of course those "feelings" were mostly mental acrobats playing with me. I had to calm down and re-program my schedules to accommodate the new situation. It taught me a lesson to appreciate wellness and health. It also taught me to let go of the anxiety of not being able to continue "business as usual" by doing what I could for the time being as my wounds healed. Both wounds did heal, and despite the scars, I am happy to be back to my routines.
Embracing the constant changes we experience will allow us to become more flexible physically as yogis, but also more flexible and healthy mentally, able to let go of expectations, judgments, and cravings.

"There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse; as I have found in traveling in a stagecoach, it is often a comfort to shift one's position and be bruised in a new place."
---Washington Irving ---

Namaste,
Clarie

Judgment

The other day, while waiting for our flight to Narita, we checked into the small and crowded Delta Lounge at SeaTac airport. The lounge is constantly overflowing with waiting passengers. It is definitely inadequate to service the number of people continuously entering into the lounge for a little relaxation time before boarding for long flights. It was no different that day.

As we wandered around the room looking for a place to sit, one woman did remove a bag from the seat next to her and offered me the chair. After settling down with my coffee, I looked across the room, and noticed a man seated next to a vacant chair. On the chair was a winter coat. I rather expected him to remove the coat so someone else could sit there. But he did not. After a while I was getting irritated by his inconsideration. People were walking by constantly, yet he seemed oblivious to the scene. I thought how selfish of him to occupy two seats while many others were standing. Negative feeling filled my mind.

After about five minutes, a woman walked over to the chair, picked up the coat, pushed it aside and sat down. That's when I realized that the coat did not belong to the man at all! I felt instantly remorseful for judging the poor innocent man who did nothing wrong.

I began reflecting on how often we have misjudged someone, whether through ignorance of the situation, lack of evidence, or through a prejudicial mind, we create conflicts, confusion, hurtful feelings, and unnecessary hostile environment. When we harbor expectations, we develop judgments. Like the poor guy at the airport lounge, he didn't do anything wrong, but I misread the situation, developed the expectation that he should have shared the chair with others, and he was perfectly innocent. Fortunately I didn't give him the stink-eye! Thomas F. Cleary said, "The excitable observer will pass judgment first and then make knowledge conform to judgment; the prudent observer will first learn to know and then judge according to knowledge." Obviously I was acting like an excitable observer.
Sometimes we also judge ourselves when we expect certain results in practicing yoga. I often hear people tell me, "I can't do the poses well enough." or "wait until I lose some weight." Some will attend one class and decide right away that everyone else is so much better than they are, so they are too embarrassed to come back. Self-judgment such as telling yourself "You're not good" or "You're great and you're better than others", are cause for low self esteem, or for being prideful. In yoga practice, we are all equal. There is no judgment, no competition, no expectation. We practice in perfect harmony with our body, with each moment as the right moment for where we should be: the blending of acceptance, enjoyment, and in the present moment.
"The highest form of human intelligence is to observe yourself without judgment."
---- Jiddu Krishnamurti -----
Namaste,
Clarie

New Attitude

As we near the end of another year, we are once again faced with coming up with a list of new year's resolutions. Checking last year's list could reveal how diligent we had been fulfilling the resolutions. We can repeat the list, or, just don't make any list at all. I have not made any resolutions list in years even though I am normally a to-do-list maker. Every year I make mental notes to myself on things and projects I would like to accomplish. This year my big project is to increase bone density, after my doctor informed me to do so in order to avoid osteoporosis. This project will be on-going from now on. What will be your new year's resolutions?

One thing I notice is every time we get together with friends, we all moan and groan about how busy we are. It seems we are constantly adding more things to do, be it fun sports; community services; health related activities; family responsibilities; travel; self-improvement studies; pleasure readings; work; etc. etc. Our days are packed to the gills with barely enough time to sleep. We don't want to miss anything.

We suffer from the "more is better" syndrome of living. This is true in restaurants, especially in the States, where the servings are huge. People are getting more huge as well. Nearly 30% of the population in the U.S. is considered obese. Of course obesity involves not just over-weight, but also all the accompanying health problems such as diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, to name just a very few. It is also true that the mentality of "more is better" even extends to activities to improve our health. We workout more and harder, to the point of exhaustion. We push ourselves beyond reasonable endurance in order to feel the high and a sense of accomplishment.

We can even go beyond our limits in yoga practice if we are not mindful and aware of our own body's capability. More is not always better. This coming year, let us take a few moments to reflect on exactly what we have been doing; what we would like to do to modify our lifestyle; how we can do just the right things, the right amount, and with the right motivation.

And, during this holiday season, as we face with numerous parties and tremendous amount of food and drinks, let us practice moderation, and start the new year on the right footing. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "The first wealth is health." And Eknath Easwaran comments, "If you want to live life at its fullest, you will want to do everything possible to keep your body in vibrant health in order to give back to life a little of what it has given you."

Namaste,
Clarie

Carpe Diem

News of death is never pleasant. News of death of someone you knew is disturbing at best, devastating at worst. During the past two weeks, I received news that four people whom I knew had passed away. I was sad, disturbed, devastated, all at once. The fact that three of the four had died younger than they should have caused me much grief. It also reminded me that life could be fragile and tenuous; it should not be taken for granted. I am once again reminded of my favorite saying, “Carpe Diem”.

Many years ago, when my husband and I purchased a sail boat (that’s whole another story) in California, we tried to rename the boat to get rid of the original name. We agonized over this project, poring through name books, other people’s boats’ names, when we saw the movie Dead Poets Society and the professor told his students, “Carpe Diem, make the best of you lives”. At that moment we remembered the recent death of an acquaintance at a young age, and the unpredictability of life’s happenings, we decided to name our boat Carpe Diem, or Seize the Day. Ever since that time, I have tried to follow that motto, though not always with success. I have carried that same belief into the practice of yoga.

In yoga, we don’t just seize the day, we seize the moment. Seizing each moment and making the best of it is our yoga mantra. Without lingering on the past, nor pining for the future, we make each moment the most important moment as the seconds and minutes tick away and as we focus on what is happening to our body, our breath, and our whole being, we remain present, mind and body. As we change and evolve every day, every hour, every minute and second, our yoga practice also changes and evolves simultaneously. We accept this phenomena and enjoy the moment to moment unfolding of our experiences. Yesterday I could balance on one leg but that day was gone, tomorrow is a total toss-up so there is no reason to worry. What I do have is this very moment I can focus on, and each second will be gone if I don’t seize it and make the best of it.

“Live mindful of how brief your life is...gladly accept the gift of the present hour...seize the day, and put the least possible trust in tomorrow...” — Horace —

Namaste,
Clarie

Looking Good

There is a commercial on the local TV channel that advertises a certain new car that has many wonderful features such as IPod connection, bluetooth, and various driving advantages. Not a car buff myself, I don't understand nor pay much attention to the commercial. However, what perks my ears up is when the voice on TV says, "And you will look GREAT driving it!" as its final and most important selling point. Vanity strikes again.

Of course we all want to look good, because it makes us feel good. But if we put too much emphasis on simply looking good on the outside, without examining how we feel inside, then all we have is appearance without substance and feeling.

During a yoga class, when there is a mixture of those who have practiced for many years and those who are fairly new or brand new, it's often very intimidating for beginners to compare their own skills with others. Some new comers never return, feeling hopeless in their own ability to "perform" and to look as good as others. What is not apparent to the naked eyes is whether those who look great are actually feeling the benefits of practicing from within, with an open heart, soft eyes, steady breathing, and relaxed mind.

When we struggle and work too hard to reach our perception of perfection, we risk injury, not only to our body, but also to our mind and spirit. Vanity has been a downfall for many since time eternal, and it is no exception in yoga practice. Being humble and reflective, accepting our limitations, and viewing the practice as a life long journey will bring us much comfort and peace of mind. Looking good is only a superficial success.

"Life is a compromise of what your ego wants to do, what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let you do." ---Bruce Crampton---
Namaste,
Clarie

Satya: Honesty & Truth

During our recent trip to Disneyland with our daughter and grand kids, as soon as we arrived we visited with my relatives and then rushed to the amusement park and stayed until late. By then we were exhausted. On the way walking back to our hotel, we stopped at a nearby Denny’s to grab a quick bite.

The next morning I discovered that my camera was missing. I had left it in the restaurant in my semi-conscious state the night before. I called the restaurant, thinking that for sure such thing happens all the time and they would have it in Lost-and-Found. Unfortunately, nothing was turned in. My nice little Sony Digital, full of happy shots from the previous evening, was in someone else’s possession, someone saw nothing wrong with taking another’s property. I only hope that the person who kept my camera needed it more than I did, even though it was a very dishonest act and had made me sad.

In Yogo Sutra, Patanjali, the “Father of Yoga”, listed in the first limb of The Eight Limbs of Yoga, the importance of honesty and truth. Satya, or truth, is “the highest rule of conduct or morality”. It is not limited to speech alone, but applies to all manners of thought, word, and deed. Untruth thoughts can lead to untruth words, untruth words can lead to untruth actions. Conversely, truthful thoughts lead to truthful words, and that lead to truthful behavior.

As yogis and yoginis, we must be honest with ourselves in our practice. We accept our own limitations without deceiving ourselves with false display of skills. If we are only focusing on the form without feeling from our heart, we are not being truthful with the practice. The practice of asanas (poses) is not an end in itself. It is only one of the steps to continue on our journey to find our true and authentic self. When we are able to accept ourselves and accept each practice with joy and open heart, then we are truly on the yoga path.

However, don't get stuck with the struggle of feeling from the heart. My teacher Aadil Palkhivala always encouraged us to look into our heart during practice, but he also reminded us that if we only wanted to exercise our body, it's okay too. As long as we are truthful to our intentions, we are already on the path.

"Sometimes it is more important to discover what one cannot do, than what one can."

---- Lin Yotang ---

Namaste,

Clarie